picada

thought one:
i like how nobody really knows how many posts i already deleted from this thing.

thought two:
picada. [blog imported from myspace]

picada.

i'm quite SICK of the fact that it's almost been TWO FULL MONTHS since i've written anything of pure substance. anything in between now and then- just words rolling out of a desperate throat. so, partially inspired by amateur photographers and partially determined to polish my dormant camera obscura skills, i am making an attempt at "picada," or, a picture a day. i think it should turn out quite interesting, although i don't know how long i'll survive (considering my camera eats batteries like a chubber eats cake). i'm a bit impressed with myself for making a public declaration of a resolution, seeing that i'm awful at following through things that don't necessarily have a clear cut value (like: "i will floss every night."). usually, things like these, i start with silence, and if it succeeds, then i announce my triumph. but, considering my plead for creativity, there you go. i am attempting picada. plus, if you didn't know, i love to journal. i've journaled since i was six (and i have proof). i've always loved the concept of photojournalism, never tapping into it seriously, reserving myself for some dusty foot in north africa. what an awful reasoning, no? i can be such a futurist, it's lame.

----------

today is technically april 18, but i haven't slept yet, and therefore i still consider this moment to be the 17th of april. i am fidgety. i'm also in an absurd mood for some flaming lips (by that i refer to the band, not some makeout session, kthanks).

the sun graced the dreary tulips, they that bowed with the push of the wind. i thought about middle school looking at those tulips, o how they long to blossom into beauty, only to be pushed by the natural occurence of peer pressure. no one can escape its influence - i'm not saying everyone has given into it, mind you, the observance of peer pressure is enough to make one uphold a standard of individuality. i found a tulip i liked, leaning up against the brick wall, still standing tall, still full of color.

i reading about that passage in isaiah when he refers to the LORD "healing the brokenhearted." as poetically fluid as it sounds, isaiah is making a reference to broken bones. i let this sit in my mind. and i do not believe it to be coincidence, but i was led these past two nights to read psalm 34.17-20:

and the one thing ringing in my head, for the Almighty's grace to protect my bones - in other words, protect my structure, my framing, the very things that keep me in tact. my beliefs, my worldviews, my morals, ethics.

all that ran through my mind looking at that one tulip against the brick wall.

and you'd think i would have taken a picture of it.

i took a picture of beth's dog shadow and myself because she's such a good, affectionate dog.
tulips=later.

2:22 PM